Right now, I’m working through making a decision. I’m doing all the things - research, asking questions, color-coded pro/con charts, and trying to listen to my heart/gut in quiet moments.

I used to have a lot of fear about a lot of things (I still do sometimes). I used to shove that feeling down really deep so I didn’t think about or realize it much of the time. But it still showed up in many things that I did.

This guy. It’s his day.

As hard as taking a step back from work was, it came with so many gifts. One of the gifts came quickly.

I have never been around on weekday mornings with the kids. We have always had incredible people who loved on them and got them ready for school each day. When school started back up this fall, Jon was working from home so he took over the morning routine.

And I got the privilege of witnessing it for the first time in December.

It’s been 20 years as a married pair! But it’s been this past year that has brought so much thought and reflection about our relationship as we pushed and pulled on our old beliefs, asking questions, seeking wise counsel, and solidifying what we really believe.

Nathanael asked me to perform a small surgical procedure on one of his stuffed animals, Shiny, whose fur had torn.

I have never publicly talked about our miscarriages because I did not allow myself to think or feel much about them. Even when we lost the twin to our oldest, I focused on pushing all the feelings down really deep so I could keep going, keep working, keep pushing through and move on. I framed these as factual events in my mind, nothing more. And then….

For those who have been following our Christmas tree/Pandemic tree journey: Yesterday, the tree came down. For 408 consecutive days, it brought light and joy and hope to our family and perhaps those traveling up our hill.

I’ve seen the posts, heard the chorus of so many lamenting this year. 2020 has become synonymous with hot messes, train wrecks, dumpster fires. But my perspective is quite different.

Ready??? 2020 has been life changing in every good way. Yep. You read it right. I am grateful for the year 2020.

Voting this year was pretty emotional for me for many reasons and I’m grateful to be able to share this with our kids. 

I’ve shifted from Frozen songs and am going back to my inner teenager for this installment of car karaoke.  This one was inspired by our school team at our last planning meeting for school re-opening during a pandemic.  Here’s to having fun and trying to laugh through all the OMT’s!

You know how some people save mementos of “firsts?” Me too! Enjoy my latest keepsake. :)

Y’all...a thing happened today that shifted my thinking about the word “yet.” You see, I’m a believer in Carol Dweck’s work on mindset. You know, a fixed mindset is one where someone believes qualities and talents are un-change-able. A growth mindset is one where someone believes qualities and talents can be fostered, nurtured, and grow. And I’ve just always added to word “yet” to any fixed mindset statements I make to shift my mindset to growth . For example: “I can’t do a headstand...yet!” See what happened there?? Fixed to growth with one simple word! I have banked on “yet” more times than I care to admit. And it has been magical. Until today.

Knowing gratitude is the antidote to fear, I have been intentional about focusing on gratitude and finding joy during the pandemic.  I’ll save some of the details for a future post, but wanted to tell you what is high on my gratitude/joy list right now and I want to hear what’s on yours! 

Here they are in no particular order:

What has happened and continues to happen in our country is heartbreaking and absolutely wrong.  I don’t feel like I have the words.  I definitely don’t have the answers.  And I feel helpless, not knowing what to say or do.  So today, Jon and I decided to do something seemingly small but significant. 

It seems school reopening planning has been taking up every minute of every day - 24/7. 

And it is intense. 

I know I need opportunities to be creative to keep myself balanced and there hasn’t been any time for it. 

So I bought myself a phone holder and decided to capitalize on the time I’m in the car. 

I am the queen of having 75+ tabs open on my computer at any given time (the school techs love me).  When I’m “on it,” I create my own dashboard that helps me have access to everything I need in one place so I can close tabs without fear. 

Here is a quick “how-to” video in case it can help anyone else. 

So, we did a thing.

I have realized how much I need sunlight and connection to nature and living in NY does not always provide opportunities for much of this in the winter months.

I explored the possibility of getting a vinyl igloo to sit in when the weather got colder, but then I had the wacky idea of creating a temporary enclosure on our already existing porch.