Untamed Courage

May 1, 2021

I used to have a lot of fear about a lot of things (I still do sometimes). I used to shove that feeling down really deep so I didn’t think about or realize it much of the time.  But it still showed up in many things that I did.

Like following so many unspoken “rules:” Trying to be the good girl.  Being compliant. Not speaking up.  Keeping the peace.  Playing small.

In the past, an unspoken rule I followed was to only read/watch/listen to things that were very closely aligned with the beliefs I grew up with.  It was a narrow view that I thought kept me safe.

I bought this book when it first came out in March 2020, even though I felt shame, like I was bad and wrong, for buying it.  It sat in a bag because I was afraid to open it.  Even a shelf would be too public a place to keep it.

And then one day this summer, I felt brave enough to start reading it.  A little bit at a time was all I could manage.

It cracked me open and I was ready for it. It wrecked me in all the best ways. 

I started to realize I am my own person - I’m not here to please anyone else.  I am allowed to read things that may change my perspective.  And this book did that over and over again.