Inadequacy

August 3, 2023

I seem to go through periods where a certain emotion keeps popping up over and over.

I’ve had extended times of grief, bravery, resentment, creativity, loneliness, being present, overwhelm, passion, disappointment, connected.

Lately? It’s inadequacy.

And it can be kinda crushing.

It’s showing up in so many places over the past three months.

-In parenting.

-In deep conversations about important things that I have so much still to learn.

-In getting the mountain of things done.

-In completing things in a timeframe that others (and I) want.

-In knowing the next-right-things to do for a lot of really important and hard stuff that could potentially have significant consequences.

-In navigating change and uncertainty.

-In taking care of myself.

I am bumbling through and doing my best - which (shockingly) often doesn’t feel like enough.

I am allowing myself to feel it. I am validating it. And I am reminding myself of so many things.

I am showing up.

I am doing the best I can.

I am present.

I am not perfect and do not expect myself to be.

I don’t have to have all the answers.

Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.

I am showing up with love.

Jon and I write notes to ourselves on our mirrors at home. Notes of affirmation. Questions of curiosity. Sometimes “to-do’s.”

A while ago, Jon wrote this quote from Brene Brown on our mirror.

“No matter how much gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.”

I love this. And, I am going to add one of my own.

“No matter how uncertain and inadequate I feel, I keep showing up knowing I am enough.”

If you are feeling inadequate, if another emotion keeps showing up over and over for you right now, feel it. Have grace with yourself. And know you are not alone.

P.S. If you didn’t already know, you can use dry erase markers on your windows and mirrors to write/draw and then wipe off whenever you want.