More Triggers - Elitism and Entitlement

October 21, 2023

Many years ago, I was part of an excellent training about supporting children in emotional crisis.

During the training, within the component of emotional competence, participants were asked to identify their own personal “triggers.” The idea is that when you know what your triggers are, you can manage your emotions better in stressful situations.

I laugh now, but at the time, I honestly could not identify any of my triggers.

A month after the training, I identified my first one after spending a few days uncovering a situation and learning some of the individuals involved had not told the truth.

Dishonesty. That’s a trigger for me.

I felt it in my body. My gut and chest were tense. My heart beat faster. I could feel myself getting angry.

And recognizing it, naming it, helped me move forward in a regulated and thoughtful way.

Lately, I’ve been been noticing another trigger pop up.

This time, it’s around elitism and entitlement.

There have been three things that have happened in the last two weeks. And when I stop and notice how I’m feeling, unpack it, and start to process it, they each come back to this.

The first was a conversation at a meeting I viewed that was dripping in elitism. One where adults modeled behavior that, in addition to being narrow focused and exclusive, modeled behavior in direct opposition of what they have publicly said they believe in.

The second was a conversation with an individual who very much believes in the giftedness of only some children and specialized programming based on interests only available to them.

And the third, a conversation with someone whose general message focused on their beliefs that children who may be challenged academically, socially, and emotionally, should not be learning alongside others who do not have these needs.

Deep breaths.

I’m still working to understand my physical reactions to these situations involving elitism and entitlement. Possibly because I have been directly harmed by it. Possibly because I have seen people I love directly harmed by it. And possibly because I actively work against it, advocating for those who may not be able to advocate for themselves.

Recognizing what is happening in my body, naming the feelings in my mind as they happen, help me navigate more clearly both in and after the moment.

And, for me, it typically leads to using my voice. To teach. To share my story. To provide an alternate perspective that is more inclusive of others.

How about you? What are your triggers? Do you notice them? How do you unpack them?