Alone Time

October 26, 2023

You know how songs kind of pull you in sometimes? How, sometimes, the lyrics take on new meaning as you listen more?

There’s this song on the most recent Chicks album just like that. Okay, there’s a lot of them on this album like that for me.

But this one hit me hard this week.

There is a repeated phrase woven throughout the song.

“Go it alone.”

The song is a retrospective about an unhealthy partnership. A relationship ending. And life afterwards.

And when I first listened to it on repeat for days, that’s what stuck out to me. It was during a time when I was dismantling my long-held beliefs about divorce - having always viewed divorce as bad and wrong - and relearning that it can be positive and healthy and the right thing.

And it was during a time when I made another shift. One where I moved from being afraid of being alone, always believing I could never make it on my own and needing to be in a partnership to realizing that I am brave and smart and resourceful and independent and I would be completely okay on my own.

But this week I listened to it on repeat and had a completely new perspective on the storyline. Instead of a romantic partnership, I thought about the disentanglement from my old self, the one conditioned by cultural expectations, built on unhealthy beliefs and co-dependency, that I’ve been carrying for most of my life.

I was scared of being alone. I filled my time with other people and activities and planning and doing. And when I couldn’t do this, I numbed with reading or television.

But I’ve been learning to be okay in the quiet, in the initial discomfort, being by myself, doing things by myself. I am learning that solitude can spark inner creativity.

And now, spending some intentional time alone brings a lot of joy. I still love being with people, especially my family, but I’m also strategic about building in time with myself. Not only has this been a healthy practice for me, it has also marked a significant turning point in my journey.

Here’s to going it alone sometime - ten out of ten, highly recommend.